Mario Lopez to Star in Saved by the Bell Spinoff: "10 Years Slater"

I found a parody article about Mario Lopez at Glossynews.com. According to the article, Mario Lopez is going to reprise his role as A.C. Slater on the new sitcom 10 Years Slater.

Burbank, CA -- In a surprising move, Warren Littlefield, president of NBC Entertainment, announced that a "Saved By The Bell" spin-off featuring Mario Lopez will headline the network's Fall lineup.

"The network felt that with the popular response to the idea of "Friends" spin-off "Joey" it would also be wise to bring back another trusted and familiar friend, but the question was who?" Littlefield explained, "...after much deliberation, we decided Mario Lopez as A.C. Slater was the choice already on everyone's mind."

The show, tentatively titled 10 Years Slater, sees A.C. come full circle as he returns to Bayside to coach the wrestling team after his dreams of being a pro were
shattered by a tragic moped accident. So far there is no word on if Screech, who had already reprised his role as a returning assistant principal in the second generation of Saved by the Bell, would be available.

"I am excited to give it another go as A.C." Lopez said. "I believe that this will be my most fulfilling role since I played the non-compromising bicycle cop Bobby Cruz on Pacific Blue. I just hope Dustin Diamond can be part of it. I know he's really busy these days with Celebrity Boxing and probably other stuff too, but I'm just not sure I could carry the show without him.

Lopez said he also likes the transformation A.C. has undergone since we have last seen him. "This is a much more mature, embattled, bitter and swarthier A.C. His dreams have been violently crushed by a speeding moped. No longer must he worry about touting the biggest muscles in school, but tackling more relevant and challenging problems, like dispelling student rumors that he's gay."
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Saved By The Bell Comic Books

Several issues of an actual Saved By The Bell comic book were released in the early 1990s. Some of these comic books are available for purchase at Mile High Comics.

Here are covers for two of the comic books. Is it just me, or does Slater look really gay in the first one?

Funny On-Line Comic Book about SBTB and Mr. T

I just found a funny online comic book about Saved By The Bell and Mr. T. The basic story plot is that Kelly is a gold-digging skank who will only go out with Zack if he can give her some gold. So Zack takes it upon himself to steal Mr. T's gold chains. During his quest for gold, he enlists the help of Slater and Screech. Here are a couple images from the comic:

Great Article About Dustin Diamond and Wife

I have discovered a great article about Dustin Diamond and his wife. This article discusses how Diamond's first date with his wife was at an Arby's (how romantic) and how his wife was a bit standoffish when they first met. Diamond also mentions the following about Saved By The Bell fans:

On "Saved by the Bell" fans - "It’s nice to be recognized. But for every two nice people, you get three rude people. … We get people driving by the house at night, screaming, throwing stuff."

For some reason I find that quote to be very funny. The show ended years ago but Screech's fans still scream at him and throw garbage on his lawn!

http://www.mkeonline.com/story.asp?id=357162

Hilarious Blogs Making Fun of Dustin Diamond

I recently discovered a chain of blogs making fun of Screech and Dustin Diamond, the actor who played Screech on Saved By The Bell. These blogs all contain a ton of gay jokes about Mr. Diamond and the Screech character and are uproarious. If you are an adult, check them out (warning: offensive humor may not be suitable for children):

Dustin Diamond Queer Fantasies Blog!!!
Queers Unite for Dustin Diamond
Ox's "Remember When" page
The Dner Collection
Jack Meoffa's Remember When Stories

Screech's Stand-up Comedy Act

I was looking at the messages posted at IMDB.com for Dustin Diamond today when I cam across this message from someone who has apparently seen Dustin's stand-up comedy act:

Re: Screech is the worst comedian ever!
by - kylebarkerlgi 2 days ago (Fri Jan 20 2006 21:12:07 )

UPDATED Fri Jan 20 2006 21:22:20
I saw his stand-up. I met him outside where he was signing autographs, and he's a nice fellow one-on-one. I got some laughs from his material, but some I confess were courtesy laughs.

His brand of humor is not really my taste. Any comedian who didn't do sexual humor in his hey-day and does it now is just doing it for cheap shock value (see also: Bob Saget). And in Mr. Diamond's case, it is too disgusting too even be funny. I'm not saying I never laugh at a dirty joke, but hearing Screech go on and on about pornography featuring geriatrics, and make light of incest, and wax misonygistic about injuring a woman anally, is not my idea of fun.

Nor is the other half of his act, which consists of about twenty minutes of his imitation of a retarded person, prefaced by a short speech about "don't be too P.C."---in other words, your'e a spoilsport if you don't laugh. Apparently not finding it hilarious ten times in a row is not an option. To top it off, Diamond managed to squeeze in not one but two "jokes" about the late Christopher Reeve.

Of his TV co-stars, all he had to say was "Zack and Slater sucked", and that Mark-Paul Gosselar ("Zack") was gay. This he was adamant about convincing the audience of. However, Gosselar is married and has a son.

I don't know what I was expecting; I knew he wasn't going to do old "saved by the bell" bits, but at the same time I wasn't expecting this drek.

Saved By The Coke???

I discovered an Internet article in which the author states that Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins are both avid cocain users. Screech and Mr. Belding, say it ain't so!

http://www.stanford.edu/~dan06/essays/savedbythebell.html

#1. Dustin Diamond (aka 'Screech'): Did coke while on a date with a friend of mine who goes to University of Maryland. Kudos, Dustin:

#2. Dennis Haskins (aka 'Mr. Belding'): Someone I know helped to found a student group whose sole purpose was to get Mr. Belding to speak at UT. They succeeded (see the article in the UT newspaper). Afterwards, the guy I knew took an eager Mr. Belding out to bars, at which point the former Saved by the Bellian proceeded to do coke. To the best of my knowledge, he was high on coke when this photo was taken.

The Chicago-area Maywood police department annouced a $750,000 settlement for a white prisoner beaten by a racist black prisoner

In June 2004 a 21-year old white male, George Caithamer, was pulled over in the village of Maywood, a Chicago suburb, for driving on a suspended license. He was place in a holding cell with two black prisoners, one of whom was a reputed gang member, 30-year-old Marcus Hrobowski.

Hrobowksi, a 6'4" 215 pound thug, almost immediately proceeded to harass Caithamer and rob him. First Hrobowski made Caithamer give him his Nike shoes and then started punching him. Caithamer hurled racial slurs for the next 20 minutes beating Caithamer and making him strip naked. Throughout the beating Hrobowski pleaded for his life and screamed for help, fearful that Hrobowski was going kill or rape him. The police eventually came to his rescue after Caithamer had been hit 62 times and suffered a concussion.

Caithamer sued the village of Maywood after the attack alleging that the Maywood police officers placed him in the same cell as Hrobowski. Lawyers blamed Maywood police officers and jailers, some of whom sat by monitors that showed the incident in progress, for putting their client in a cell with a known violent felon. The lawsuit also alleged that at least two of the cops heard Hrobowski make racist threats. " Just before he was placed in the cell there were two police officers who heard the beater, his name is Rabowski, who heard him say I'm going to kill white people and I'm going to kill the officer that brought him in," said Blake Horwitz, attorney for Caithamer.

The village of Maywood settled out of court with Caithamer for $750,000 this week.

What's really disturbing is how little press this story has been getting. Hrobowski is a racist thug who beat the hell out of the young Caithamer. Why hasn't Jessie Jackson visited Caithamer and publicly condemned this hate crime??? Could it be because Hrobowski is white and Jackson is a racist hypocrite?

The worst part of this whole ordeal is that Hrbowski got off scot-free for the attack by reason of insanity. He's now institutionalized at an Elgin mental health facility. It's outrageous, if you ask me.

http://www.nbc5.com/news/6036241/detail.html

Hilarious Saved By The Bell flash game

I just discovered an hilarious Saved By The Bell flash animation game called Saved By Your Balls. In the game the player is one of the Saved By The Bell characters and has to whore himself out to the other characters to earn $5000 to fix the player's damage car before the player's parents get home.

If you play as Screech, you can earn $250 in the gym locker room by letting A.C. Slater rape you. This is pure hilarity!

Here's a picture of one of the screens in the game:

Another Dennis Haskins picture!

I found anohter picture of Mr. Belding partying with college students while trying to score some hot babes. Check it out:

Michael Ian Black = Annoying Turd!

If you've ever seen VH1's "I Love the 80s" or "I Love the 90s" shows, then you probably recognize the comedian pictured here. His named is Micahel Ian Black, and he's incredibly unfunny on a level that only a few others (such as Pauly Shore) have been able to reach.

He recites lame "jokes" periodically throughout each episode. Unfortunately, however, when he tells them with his trademark deadpan pot-head delivery 99% of his jokes fall flat.

He looks like a flaming homosexual with the way he dresses and he makes me want to change the channel whenever he's in a scene. He reminds me of a middle school kid who goes around making fun of people ignoring the fact that no one is laughing, but continues to think he's funny because he doesn't care that no one thinks he's funny. When he was in high school he was probably a stereotypical skinny kid who wore turtlenecks every day, sat at lunch with his drama club dork friends, and constantly said unfunny random shit. What a tool!

Tookie Williams - BURN IN HELL!!!

I can't believe the whole uproar about yesterday's execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams III, one of the co-founders of the Crips, one of America's most violent black gangs. This racist piece of human excrement is a cold-blooded killer and he has yet to show any remorse for his crimes.

In 1979 he murdered four innocent victims execution style within the span of 12 days. First, he murdered 26-year-old veteran Albert Lewis Owens, a white convenience store clerk. Mr. Owens was a father of two working as a clerk at a convenience store. Williams and three other Crips forced Owens to the floor at gunpoint. Williams fired two shots into his back while he lay on the ground. The idiots made off with a whopping $120. There is no doubt that Williams did it because he was caught on a security camera in the convenience store. Williams later said he killed Owens "because he was white and he was killing all white people."

Eleven days later Williams killed three legal Chinese immigrants Yen-I Yang, 76, his wife, Tsai-Shai Yang, 63, and their daughter, 43-year-old Yee-Chin Lin. He made off with a just $100. Williams later bragged that that his victims were "Buddha-heads."

It's amazing to me that the Hollywood idiots and the extreme left-wing political factions now say that Williams is "rehabilitated" because he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for writing anti-violence children's books. Guess many of his masterpiece books has he sold - just a whopping 332 copies! Apparently it's very easy to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, so I guess it's not really an honor just to be nominated.

This piece of shit had all the chances in the world to apologize for his heinous, racist murders but he has never come clean and apologized! He got exactly what he had coming to him and now he's burning in hell for his crimes!

Funny guestbook for fans of Dustin Diamond

Hey guys, I just discovered a funny guestbook for fans of Dustin Diamond. There used to be a great guestbook at www.dustindiamond.com, but it was taken down a few months ago for some unknown reason. Anyway, it seems as though this new guestbook picks up where the other one left off. One last thing - this guestbook is supposedly a "queers-only" guestbook, as all of the posts appear to make homosexual references to Dustin Diamond and/or Saved By The Bell.

Dustin Diamond "Inside the Actor's Studio" parody skit on SNL

On April 15, 2000 Saturday Night Live had one of the funniest skits I've ever seen. The skit was the hilarious "Inside The Actor's Studuio" with Will Ferrell as James Lipton and Tobey Maguire as Dustin Diamond (from Saved By The Bell). The dialogue, available at snltranscripts.jt.org was as follows:

James Lipton: In going through the list of great characters... few come to mind. Blanche Dubois, from "Streetcar Named Desire".. Willy Loman, from "Death of a Salesman".. and, of course.. Screech, from "Saved By The Bell". That actor is with us today. Please join me in welcoming.. Mr. Dustin Diamond.

[ Dustin Diamond enters the set, grimacing like a buffoon ]

James Lipton: The character.. the character of Screech. Where did he come from?

Dustin Diamond: A place inside me! There's a Screech inside all of us, but.. mostly, it's a funny voice!

James Lipton: In 1992.. a made-for-television film came out that changed the face of American cinema. That film, of course, is "Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style". If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and see the greatest film EVER! In the history.. of the world. In that piece.. you were kidnapped by the Pupuku clan. How did you prepare for that?

Dustin Diamond: Well, I'd like to say that I studied a lot for that part - you know, reading stuff on Hawaii - but.. we just had fun. I do this thing in my head, I.. pretend to put on a funny hat.. and then I just get crazy!! [ laughs like a moron ]

James Lipton: In that picture.. Kelly's grandfather invites the entire gang to Hawaii for summer holiday.

Dustin Diamond: Yes! The thing about that-

James Lipton: [ interrupting ] They expect a marvelous time at the beach, sans Mr. Belding. They arrive.. and discover Mr. Belding is there as well, don't they?

Dustin Diamond: Yes! Yes, he is! [ cracking up ] They didn't think he was gonna be there, but he is! That's the ,b>twist part! [ laughs ]

James Lipton: You.. are a delight! [ breaks into a boisterous guffaw ]

Dustin Diamond: Thank you! [ with nothing else to do, joins Liptin in his boistorous guffaw ]

James Lipton: [ finally ] In 1993, Dustin leaves the "Saved By The Bell" series, to stretch his acting chops, if you will.. and, in 1994, he found a role that suited him. That of an administrative assistant to a high school principal.. in "Saved By The Bell: The New Class". If you want to see an actor practice his craft at the highest level.. you need look no further than "Saved By The Bell: The New Class" - it's marvelous!

Dustin Diamond: When I thought.. that I was done with the role of Screech, I swore I would never do it again - then.. I read the script. I wept openly on the flight to Philadelphia! You don't come across writing like that every day!

James Lipton: Indeed, you don't. Of course, we will conclude our.. evening.. with a questionnaire.. invented by the great Bernard Pivot.

Dustin Diamond: Oh, boy! Ha ha ha!

James Lipton: What is your favorite word?

Dustin Diamond: Oh, uh.. [ thinking ] Pancake!

James Lipton: What turns you off?

Dustin Diamond: When.. someone throws garbage or feces at you?

James Lipton: What sound, or noise, do you love?

Dustin Diamond: To be honest.. applause.

[ the audience erupts into forced applause, much to Dustin's bemused delight ]

James Lipton: I think we all like that. What is your favorite curse word?

Dustin Diamond: Hmm.. "frosted nuts"! [ giggles coquettishly ]

James Lipton: [ laughs uproariously with Dustin ] Nicely done! And, finally.. if Heaven exists.. what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

Dustin Diamond: "Up here.. you'd be playing the role of Zack!"

James Lipton: [ clapping ] Dustin Diamond.. on behalf of The Actor's Studio, and the student before, I thank you.

Dustin Diamond: Thank you!